BEHIND THE SCENES : MY FIRST MUSIC VIDEO!

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Hey Zengarmy,


I've been keeping this in the dark since last July and
now I'm finally able to share my excitement with you guys!
Okay, so my friend Kelson who is studying sound engineering
came up with this idea of filming a proper legit music video.
And, God bless him, he invited me and my other friend Kiar
to join in the filming of this music video! A million thanks!



First of all, I wanted to hereby acknowledge the fact of
 HOW EXHAUSTING IT IS TO BE IN A MUSIC VIDEO SHOOT! 
Imagine all the heat from the millions of light bulbs surrounding
you and the crazy amount of time taken to set up everything!
It ain't easy job people, it ain't. It's time consuming & exhausting.



I used to think that :
How hard could it be to be in a sit-down music video?
All I had to do is to sit down, lip synch, and take lots of selfies.
LOL at the last point, but yeah, if you ever had that misconception
in your mind, SCRAP THAT THINKING OFF YOUR MIND, HONEY!!



Music video shoot is literally a mixture of sweats and lots of makeup.
It took us a minimum of 6 hours to set up and finish filming everything.
Lighting and wire. Makeup and hair. The heat from the lighting. Camera.
Making sure every shot is in focus. Recording from every damn possible angles.
And after all that jazz you have to boil everything down into a 3-minute-video.
It ain't just a piece of cake. Hats off to all the celebrities who do this everyday!

Here are a few shots from behind the scene :

The moment the music video was being released, I had an anxiety attack.
That's just how strange my brain is. I'm overwhelmed by a lot of thoughts.
Do I feel happy when I saw the music video? Strangely, NO. I freaked out.
I was overwhelmed by the thoughts that I looked ugly in the music video.
There's a voice inside me repeating : I'M UGLY I'M UGLY I'M UGLY I'M UGLY.



My brain is totally fucked up, if I do say so myself.



I've been battling hard with my self-esteem issue, and every fight in me
just seemed to go out of the window when I saw the music video released.
An hour before the release of the music video, my friends & I had this
marketing plan of taking turns to change our profile pictures to promote
our music video. And, silly me, I went on and compared the amount of likes
that we got on each of our profile pictures and realize that nobody seems
to be liking my profile picture as much as they like my friends' profile pictures.
I know, judging myself by the amount of likes I got is a fucking stupid thing to do,
but I fucking did it, and I felt HORRIBLE. I feel like this is such a realistic world
where people will and ONLY will notice you if you're good looking or smoking hot.
I know that I'm ugly, I always knew it. Some days I loved how I looked in the mirror.
I love my small Asian eyes. I love my Asian nose. I even love how my pimples looked. 
But, as harsh as it sounds, some days when I woke up I just hate myself, every bit.
I'll look at myself in the mirror and tell myself that I MUST get a plastic surgery.
Insecure much? YES. People who seemed all polished & confident outside are
usually the ones who hated how they looked in the mirror every fucking single day.
I think I might do another video or blog post to address this issue, but yeah,



Let us all get back to the positive part of life.



A million thanks to Winston and Sarah,
who helped with the lighting set up & the filming of the footage.
And not to forget the guitarist Jethro for helping us with the audio!
Last but absolutely NOT least, the freaking music video! I'm thrilled!
Give this music video a thumbs up and share it with your friends! :)

♥

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