5 THINGS TO WATCH OUT FOR THIS (EVERY) CNY!

♥

Hey Zengarmy,


According to my blog's analytic, 60% of you guys are from Malaysia.
And if you're from Malaysia, you probably can relate to everything
in this blog post. However, if you're not from Malaysia (my blog
analytic tells me that the rest of the 40% is from US, Norway
and many other parts of the world), allow me to explain a
little bit about what CNY stands for and its importance.



FYI, CNY stands for Chinese New Year.
Yes, the 1st of January 2016 has already passed,
but in the Chinese tradition, we followed another
calendar known as the LUNAR CALENDAR. Fancy? Yes :)
To put it simpler, the beginning of each year in the lunar
calendar falls around February & it's different for every year.
This year, the Chinese New Year falls on the 8th of February!



A fun fact about the lunar calendar is that for every new year,
one spirit animal from twelve is chosen to be the representative
for that particular year. And for this year, it is The Monkey.
If you're interested to know what are the 12 spirit animals
and what is their sequence in ascending order, here you go:



The Rat ▷ The Cow ▷ The Tiger
▷ The Rabbit ▷ The Dragon ▷ The Snake
▷ The Horse ▷ The Goat ▷ The Monkey
▷ The Chicken ▷ The Dog ▷ The Pig



Why this specific sequence? You ask.
There is actually a legendary story behind this,
where these 12 spirit animals are called upon by
the Celestial Emperor to compete in a race, and
whoever reached the destination first can have its name
as the representative for the first year, and so on.
A fun fact here is that the first place should've been
won by The Cat, if The Rat didn't use evil trick.
So, The Cat basically got scapegoated & eliminated.



Okay enough of the long intro. I know you're all busy people. *ahem*

 5 THINGS TO WATCH OUT FOR CNY : 



The 5 things I'll be mentioning basically happens every CNY, in my case.



1. The Guilt of Over-Eating



Chinese New Year is all about feast.
We eat a lot. More than we should be eating.
For me, I'm more like constantly eating tidbits
during the CNY week. All the egg rolls and kuih kapit?
BRING IT ON BABY DADDY'S WAITING HERE COME ON!!
But seriously though, other people will be worrying about
getting fatter after CNY, but in my case I worry about getting
sick because I literally cannot stop eating all the CNY goodies!
I'm blessed with a super good metabolism (you can read that HERE),
so getting fatter is currently not a major problem for me, but my
immune system tho, I SWEAR IT FUCKS WITH ME EVERY CNY GODAMNIT!

2. The Annoying Aunties



Sometimes, uncles too. LOL.
I'm sure you have annoying relatives.
One particular trait of these people is that
they like to ask a lot of questions. Annoying ones.



*Local slang alert*



"Eh how many A's you got in exam har??"
"Walao got girlfriend/boyfriend already or not?"
"Ah boy/Ah Girl how old are you?" (Seriously? I hate this question)
"Do you still remember how to address me?
If not no angpao for you!"
"Eh my ah-(insert name here) got 1st place
in exam leh! What place you got?"



Nobody cares about what place your son/daughter got. Fuck off.
You can click HERE to read the blog post that I've written last year,
where I ranted about the annoying aunties/uncles in full forces.

3. The Battle for TV channels



I know most of you guys hardly watch TVs anymore, thanks to wifi,
but during CNY, my relatives and I love to sit down and watch some
TV programmes. I have a very big relative household (approx >50 people),
so it's no joke when it comes to fighting over which TV channel to watch.
The moment you leave your seat unsitted for more than 5 minutes,
you can say goodbye to the TV programme you're watching. Bye.

4. The Rude Kids of Relatives



This one hits me in particular. Kids nowadays are crazy.
Manners? Respect? Silence for at least a minute?
Expect NONE of that, cause they ain't shutting up.
In my case, never leave your phones on the sofa.
Kids nowadays are positively attracted to gadgets.
The moment they found gadgets unattended in public,
they pick it up & will only return it after 4 hours of Candy Crush.
Not only gadgets, I once left my spectacles unattended while
I was sleeping, and you know what? My spectacles fucking
bent into a piece of art when I woke up, only to realize that
a few "very-well-mannered" kids of my relatives did this.
Kids are adorable? Uh-uh. Rude kids of relatives originate from hell.

5. The Struggle of Wardrobe Decisions



I struggle with my CNY wardrobe decisions.
During CNY we have this tradition of wearing red.
But I ain't a fan of red. You know I love monochrome.
So here it goes, every year I found myself wearing
red clothes ONLY in Chinese New Year. End of story.

Do all of these sound familiar to you?
If yes, leave me a comment below to let me know!
Wishing you guys a very happy Chinese New Year in advance!
PS : I probably won't be blogging for the entire CNY week,
so see you guys when I survived all these five ordeals! BYE!

♥

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